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The dreams of a male dummy (4) An Interview on the Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen

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Interviewer (Ir): “Hi, how have you been?  What is your opinion about the Conference?”
Male Dummy: “Well, I am not too optimistic.”
Ir: “Could you elaborate?”
MD: “People are generally selfish, especially politicians. The Conference participants are all politicians.  It’s a blessing from God that they could do something good for their own individual countries.  But that wouldn’t be enough.  Even if we do have God’s blessing, if each countries’ interests are different and/or conflicting, how can they get consensus to do anything?” 
Ir: “Well, we all know, in the long run, it’s to everyone’s benefit to fight global warming.” 
MD: “Yes, but that’s in the LONG run.  But what is the top priority issue right now?  The president, senators, and other elected officials are mostly concerned about their own reelection. So, the U.S. and other developed countries are likely to use excuses, such as other countries not committing, to delay having to take any action.  And what about China?  Their real concerns now are (1) keeping the growth rate the same for another ten years, so they can be a real super power; and (2) calming the social unrest due to the one child policy.  Reproduction is encouraged, and the warmer weather is considered good for fertility.” 
Ir: “What about those underdeveloped countries?  They have most of the votes.”
MD: “I heard they may get compensated for not polluting in the past.  I am sure some of the money will go to the state heads or the like.”
Ir: “You look pale?  Are you OK?”
MD: "Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine.”
Ir:   “Okay, then what is your opinion on the countries that are going to be under   
water in twenty years or so, if the trend of global warming does not change?
MD: “They might think they’ll get big compensation right before their lands are under water, and they’ll be allowed to move somewhere with very few people, such as North Canada or Siberia.  When the temperature rises, those places are more habitable.”
Ir:  “OK, wise man, I only have a few minutes left.  Let’s talk about your opinion.”
MD: “You know I grew up in a rather harsh environment.  I’m not really concerned about it now.  There is good reason for me to be called a wise man.  It is because I can take whatever is given and make best out of it.”
Ir: “Please, get to the point.”
MD: “You know our house is near a river, and I can see the ocean from the house.  When sea level rises, I might be able to go fishing from the top of the house.”
Ir: “Go on, son of gun.”
MD: “Oh, my legs are wet, and I can see fish now.  Are the effects of global warming coming much faster than the scientists predicted?”

Bang!  Bang!  I was outside the bed.  And, my beloved wife was screaming, “What are you doing!? You’re like a kid, wetting the bed when sleeping!”

 

 

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